Just to get you started in understanding what I am thinking here, I will post what I came up with regarding the issue of all the conversation I seem to have had over time. This is kinda my response, and to be fair, I am working with folks from a completely different culture that I do not claim to understand in any real capacity.  I feel like this is what is happening:


The Sea

Language, Spoken, Heard
leaves you bobbing on tides
sometimes as a ship bearing onwards
sometimes surprisingly salty in saying
somehow, in that instant of close
it rushes
oftentimes leaving adrift.
But always as a siren singing good luck songs
it pulls, ebb and flow, in mind's caves
Thrusting, roaring sound entering
Crashing, bathing breathlessly at soul's edge smooth
dragging outwards eternally
response suddenly at hand.


Fortunately, I have more of a sense of humor and greater sense of toleration for what I don't understand, so while I will honestly tell you this is not a picnic for me, I will be at least honest with you. Anyway, if I lied it would be a bad thing, seeing how it will all come out anyway, so this will be what it is. I am a terse person, but I generally am not malicious. I don't spend my precious time trying to make people miserable.
      I have never blogged before. I am looking for other people who have had some similar (or really, any) experience with the Aesir and the Vanir. I will be the first to tell you that I am hopelessly confused by them. But I at least like them enough I guess I better start asking around to find anyone who is not a fruitcake, racist, or some other intolerant person.
      I am female, and American, and so while I realize that I need to learn a Northern language to help me out here, I have to complain that Icelandic is hopelessly difficult for me. Beautiful landmine. I think I want to learn Danish. What little I know is just astronomically easier than Icelandic (though not as musical, unfortunately).
      Also I do not belong to a group. I work alone or often with my husband, who incidentally, is a really, really open minded Christian. This is because I am not impressed with the people I have met. Really. I'm not. Not that I have talked to all people, but I don't generally think that my family's origins in Norway, Austria, and Belgium really is all that special, considering that I was born in America, and the Norse people I talked to haven't really made it really clear to me about their opinion on the subject. SO, I am inclined to think that it is not that important. Unless, of course, they haven't got that far with me. So, for all you out there who are all up in arms about where one comes from, I really can't add to the discussion that much other than my opinion and experience.
      That said, I have no idea what I will be posting here. Probably everything I can think of on this subject (the Gods and Goddesses I guess and my experience with them), since I am limited enough, I don't need any more help with limiting myself. Please humor me, because I am one person and alone, so all I have is them and me.  If you have had some experience with them personally, it would be great if you would kindly tell me what happened with you. Trying to weave together everything that happens with them without having any real yardstick to line up with is decidedly annoying. And they are surprisingly quiet people; it's not like they really seem to want to clear too much of that up. I think perhaps they do that for ultimate freedom in thought, because, if anything, at least I have that with them.
      Now you are wondering. Ok.....well....I guess I have to ask you if you are comfortable with mysticism. Really. And shamanism. Talking to Odin or Wotan is, um, hard. They don't really say much. Hence, tons of "I don't know" is happening here. Or a heck of a lot of WTF?! Lot of that, mostly. And....um....well this is going to make some people wonder, but I am not sure I understand Freyr.  He seems nice, though. I only got to see him once, I think. And.....I did not understand what he wanted so, that went, as you can imagine, rather not so well. Not a word. He did not verbalize. Just showed. (Sigh). Not helpful if I cannot understand them, so I guess I will have to really work on the language barrier. Honestly, I have a hard time believing that English is unknown, but they insist that it is a pidgin language, so I assume it means that this is not helpful on their end.
      Wow, I sound dumb. Just sayin'. Oh, well. Can't be helped at this point; I have reached maximum frustration with them. I don't want to depend on suppositions from some random scholar in anthropology and archaeology, or worse, Snorri. Sorry, peoples. I want to make sure I understand them from the "horse's mouth" so to speak. Less trouble that way, I think, in the long, long haul here. Hence the mysticism and shamanism.
     Do feel free to chime in.
     Thank you, in a way you can't possibly understand.